does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
