Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize