He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
