Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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