He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
A bitchslap is in order.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
