If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
