Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
