So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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