I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
