the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize