It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Less talking, more tequila
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Randomize
