you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
