Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Sext me about skeletons
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
