remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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