She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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