..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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