Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
It was confusing and full of hummus
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
