if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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