i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I need to align my fucking chakras
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
