When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
