Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
