my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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