a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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