So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
