he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
These tits shall not be calmed
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
