Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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