K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
