sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
