She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
