FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
