Nicole vs. Life
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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