This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
