I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
