Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
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I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
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it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower