Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize