yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
She's the barista slut.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.