I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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