i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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