you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
