in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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