only if we run a train.
done.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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