so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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