I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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