Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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