i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Randomize
