I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
