dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
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