it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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