Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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