could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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