why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
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