Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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