I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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