Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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