Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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