so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i think i have two assholes
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Threesome in a minivan. New low
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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