i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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