I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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