My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
