I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
