this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
