I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
