So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
My breath smells like gin and sadness
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
