she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
