I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
