She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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