I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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