I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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