It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize