We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
