Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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